Me Write Blog: It Caveman Memoir


I Carl. Me speak like cave man all growed up-- mainly with grunts, and me use different voice inflections so other cave people decide if me grunting question, statement, or exclaim something. For example, when me grunt: "Uuuhhhhhh!!!!" and me franticly point behind you, me likely mean that you about to be hit by car. So pay attention, it might just save you life. Me English slowly getting better with each day. PS. I invent wheel...stupid Henry Ford steal me patent!! Uuuhhhh!!-- that jerk!!


Carl Make It Rain….

Carl win lottery!!!! I win, I win!!! Uuuuuughhh!!!! **elated grunt** Carl a big fan of TV show Lost, so every week, I play same numbers as Hurley do, because he my favorite character. Maybe because he have long hair like Carl. He big icon among caveman demographic. I play numbers 4, 8, 15, 16, 23, and 42. Some think numbers cursed, but Carl disagree because I WIN!!! Carl make it rain money, everywhere I go. I even make news by being ?mystery? man who make it rain money from roof of Sears Tower onto peeps below. But good thing normal folk don’t count it all because I only give away $500, all in 1’s, but people think it thousands! Not that much— not very much compared to what I win from lottery. Hehehe!! Joke on them. I stingy! But hey, I have public image to maintain. I even kiss baby when I run for president back in 1960, just so I can win. But I not win. Uuuggghhh! Because that youngster, JFK, stole Carl publicity stunt. So he win. Some people claim Carl second gunman in grassy knoll, but there no proof. **shifty eyes**….


I Carl Uuuugghh!!! (Caveman Grunt)…

**Caveman Grunt** I Carl. People think because I caveman, that I not up to date on latest technology. Like I live in cave from Stone Age. Uuugghh!! (Angry grunt)… I modern caveman. I make lots of moneys and even have latest iPhone. I not play Angry Bird. It too primitive, but Carl digress.

I not know other cave men or cave women. That how Carl make moolah— being last of kind and all. I on tour for people to gawk at. I even given club to carry around to fit stereotype. The crowd love it! They throw money at Carl like it going out of style. Some say it degrading, but Carl love it. Even though Carl live baller lifestyle, me still live like cave man in many circumstance. Carl do it to keep honor for parents that died in fight with walrus at zoo. They a victim of circumstance.

Anyway, I start blog to update world on what last cave man on planet is up to. Agent say it good to show what life of Carl all about. And it eventually make millions in advertising for Carl future. Enjoy to help make Carl even richer. Uuuugghh!! **Greedy Grunt—with money signs in eyes**